On the Eve of Insanity

Powder Room Makeover

2011-08-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a picture of our powder room when we moved into our house. It had a weird wallpaper border that had these, like, these scroll-type thingies on it a la 1988. I promptly took it down, only to discover the previous owner had painted over wallpaper. :-/ So I bought a steamer and took off the wallpaper. It was a long and tedious process. Afterwards I painted the walls a light grayish-green. Here is the result.
It was nice, but the dark cabinet always bothered me because the room is so small and it still made it look dark. So, after remodeling the basement, I had the home improvement bug and decided to paint the cabinet white. I don't know if you can tell, but I even added a couple of little rosettes and some moulding to dress it up a bit.

I have mixed emotions. It does make the room look brighter, but now it looks a little naked. Maybe I'm just not used to it.
Oh well, hopefully we can replace the whole cabinet in the future.

Ranch Potato Chips

2011-07-25T14:51:00.000-07:00

I've been making homemade potato chips for a few years now. There are a few things I have discovered in that time:

1) You must use fresh potatoes. They slice much nicer and make better chips.
2) Slice the potatoes on a mandolin (the slicer, not the instrument). It slices them evenly and thin enough to be crunchy.
3) Soak the potatoes in vinegar water for at least 15 minutes. It takes out some of the starchiness. Also, rinse the potatoes several times before throwing them in the fryer.
4) Once the potatoes start to crisp up, stir them continuously. It will help them to brown evenly.

So...last week I got a super good batch of chips and a thought occurred to me...
WHAT if I sprinkled the chips with the contents of a packet of Hidden Valley Ranch Salad and Seasoning Mix?

Brilliant! Yay, me!
Try it.

Salsa

2011-07-17T05:47:00.000-07:00

I thought I would share a recipe for salsa. It originated in my husband's family, but I have altered it over the years. I'm not big on measurements so you will have to decide exactly how much of the jalapeno, onion, cilantro and lime you would like to use. If you are unable to judge this then find another recipe. :)

Dump all of these ingredients into a bowl, then mix it up.
1 lg can petite diced tomatoes (see notes)
1 sm can chopped olives
1 jalapeno, seeded and diced (see notes)
1/2 sm onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1/2 lime, juiced
Handful of cilantro, chopped
salt to taste

Notes:
*I cook the jalapeno in water in the microwave for 1 minute just to soften it a bit. Then cut it in half and seed it.
*Sometimes I will drain the tomatoes a bit, depending upon how much liquid is in it.

NYC

2011-06-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I bother to blog. I don't think anyone reads it. But since I like talking to myself, I will continue to do it at least on occasion.
We just got back from NYC. We went for a wedding. It was my husband's best friend from childhood who was getting married. He just happens to be in a band called TV on the Radio. It was cool for me cuz I'm familiar with his music and movies, but have only met him a few times. Here's a picture of him and my husband.

We arrived in NYC a few days before the wedding cuz my husband has never been there before. We started by seeing the Empire State Building, which was just down the street from our hotel. I'm shocked that my husband and son both mustered up the courage to go to the observation deck on the 86th floor. It had gorgeous views of the city with the added bonus of not being able to smell the stink of NYC.

After the ESB we went to the Museum of Modern Art. What a great museum! I minored in Art History in college so it was great to see the paintings in person. My favorites were Starry Night and Les Demoiselles d'Avignon. I was amazed at how much the kids enjoyed the art. My son's favorite painting was this one by Piet Mondrian.

After the museum we wandered around Times Square then finally made it back to the hotel after getting lost.
On Saturday we started the day by taking the subway to Katz's Deli. The subway was super confusing (at least compared to DC) but we had a really good pastrami sandwich at Katz's Deli. Afterwards we hopped in a cab and headed to the Statue of Liberty. I wasn't big on taking a cab, but it wasn't really that much more expensive than if we paid for 4 people to ride the subway and much more convenient. I figured out that it was better to hail a cab near a major intersection or the driver will try to screw you by driving in circles. Anyway, we took the boat to the Statue of Liberty, which was a big deal cuz my son has an irrational fear of boats. He was okay, though.
We went up onto the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. I managed to capture this photo of sailors in uniform saluting the flag just outside.

After the Statue of Liberty we walked to the World Trade Center to pay our respects to those lost on 9/11.
For dinner that night we went to a restaurant called Ninja, where you are served by ninjas who try to sneak up and scare you. The kids loved it.

After dinner we headed to Chinatown where we all bought Chinese outfits.

We headed back to the hotel early that night in order to give the kids a rest, but it ended up backfiring cuz all they ended up doing was running around acting like ninjas all night.
On Sunday we had some time before the wedding so we decided to go to Little Italy. My husband was dying to eat at Lombardi's, which apparently was the first pizza restaurant in NYC or America or something.

It was some really good pizza. The kids didn't even complain that it had basil on it.
We also had cheesecake at Eileen's which was featured on Throwdown with Bobby Flay. And of course we had to get a cannoli while in Little Italy.
Overall the trip was pretty successful although after a few days I was missing fresh air and grass. I told my husband maybe we can go back when the kids are teenagers. Good thing we will be going to the beach in a couple of weeks, I could use a vacation!

Mediterranean Tuna Quinoa Salad

2011-05-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile my brain thinks up a really yummy recipe. Watching all of those cooking shows on Food Network must pay off. Hubby is on his health kick again, so I'm trying to think up things that will help him meet his goals. I bought a box of Golden Jewel Blend grains at Wegmans. It is "a blend of Israeli Couscous, Tri-colored Orzo Pasta Split Baby Garbanzo Beans and Red Quinoa." I only ever go to Wegmans for specialty foods that I can't get at Walmart, cuz let's face it, we are all on a budget. I was trying to think of a recipe that would use this. My favorite Food Network chef is Giada DeLaurentiis. I love how she keeps recipes really light and simple. I used her as my inspiration for the following recipe. I hope you can follow it. I'm by no means a recipe writer.

1 pkg Wegmans Golden Jewel Blend grains, or 3 cooked cups of your favorite grain.
1/4 c. chopped roasted red pepper
3 tsp. capers
2 cans tuna in water

Viniagrette
1/4 c. lemon juice
1/4 c. extra virgin olive oil
1/2 tsp. fresh Italian parsley
black pepper and salt to taste

1. Bring 2 cups water and contents of package to a boil in a medium saucepan. Reduce heat to low.
2. Add roasted red pepper and capers. Cover tightly.
3. Simmer 12 minutes. Remove from heat and let stand covered, 2-3 minutes.
4. Prepare viniagrette.
5. Add tuna and viniagrette to grains. Season to taste.
6. Serve over a bed of fresh spinach.

I liked this recipe lukewarm, but you can also eat it hot and maybe cold. Didn't get that far yet. ;)

Good bye, Rhododendron!

2011-03-18T04:48:00.000-07:00

We moved into our new house in September. Too late to really get any gardening done. Besides, I had to take down horrible wall borders and paint practically every inch of the inside.
When we moved in the front garden wasn't too bad. It consisted of a huge rhododendron to the right of the walkway and a series of half-dead boxwoods. There was also a boxwood to the left of the walkway. The neighborhood kids took care of that boxwood. They like to mingle right there and in no time it was broken. The other boxwoods were uprooted when I tried to pick off the dead parts. They just pulled right out of the ground. In the fall I cut back the rhododendron since it was encroaching on the walkway. I planned to leave it there until it bloomed, but the warm weather yesterday made me go crazy and I just couldn't take it anymore. It was pretty much the only bush left and it was really ugly. I presume it was planted in 1985 when our house was built. It hadn't really stood the test of time.
Before:

Yesterday I headed to Home Depot and bought 2 dwarf Alberta spruce, 2 boxwoods and a flat of pansies (technically violas). I planted the spruce trees on each side of the walkway
and the boxwoods along the front, then I lined the entire front edge with the violas.

It still looks a little sparse, but I wasn't ready to commit to buying perennials, then having to run out to cover them everytime there is a frost. That will have to wait until Mother's Day.
Now if I could just get the neighbors to get rid of their ugly bushes.

Sleep

2011-03-16T06:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took my daughter to a sleep study. She has never been a good sleeper, but I figured by age 5 we should be making some progress. I guess we have, but she still wakes at night and during the day you can tell she is tired. Her father has pretty severe sleep apnea (stops breathing 27x/hr), so I wanted to make sure she doesn't have any serious sleep/medical issues. Recently I took her to the dentist and asked about her teeth grinding. He said that children that grind their teeth sometimes have airway issues. I talked to our family doctor and she recommended seeing a ENT doctor. The ENT examined her and said that her tonsils and adnoids looked good, so he suggested a sleep study. We were almost immediately contacted by the sleep center and last night we went for the study. She was a little nervous at first, but when we got there she was very good. The technician hooked her up to over a dozen sensors that would record her movements, heart, breathing and just about everything else you could imagine. He also put little belts around her body and a sensor with a little red light on her thumb. We thought it kind of looked like ET. At the end she looked like some kind of science experiment or as she said "Frankenstein before he was created." Thankfully, she didn't exhibit any signs of sleep apnea, but she did have some erratic breathing that may/may not be normal. We are waiting for the final report. They will find out how long she spends in each stage of sleep and determine if she is getting quality sleep. In the end it may just show that she is a pain in the butt. But at least will know she is just a pain in the butt.
This sleep study got me thinking about how many people deal with insomnia and sleep problems and just think it is "normal". It is not normal to not sleep. My husband struggled for a long time before he took my advice and went for a sleep study. He was tired of being tired. As a mentioned, he was diagnosed with sleep apnea which, if left untreated, can put strain on the heart and brain and cause some pretty serious health problems. So I encourage everyone who is struggling with sleep problems or excessive daytime sleepiness to see their doctor. You don't have to deal with it. It may be treatable, and then you will be so happy when you get a good night's sleep. :)

Wallpaper is Evil

2011-02-23T06:30:00.000-08:00

Wallpaper is evil. Plain and simple. I, personally, do not understand how this trend came to be popular. Maybe it is just me, but dipping large sheets of paper into glue, then sticking them onto the wall and smoothing out all of the lumps and bubbles just sounds tedious to me. Isn't it much easier to just paint the damn wall? Wallpaper is durable, I will give you that. I know because our new house is covered in wallpaper and it is taking nothing less than a stick of dynamite to get it off of the walls. "Oh, Eve, you are exaggerating." Yeah well not only am I dealing with wallpaper, but then some genius decided to paint no less than 3 coats of paint on top of the wallpaper. As I sit with my steamer, scraping the walls I curse the previous homeowners. They had to have been horrible people, in my opinion. And tacky. I judge this based on the wallpaper that was still visible. Baskets of flowers and roses. I love nature, but the whole thing made me want to barf. The only good thing about removing wallpaper is when a really huge piece comes off all at once. It sends a rush through my body kind of like picking scabs did when I was 7. And with that I leave you. I can hear the whistle of steam coming from my trusty steamer.

Vegetarian Enchiladas

2011-01-31T04:52:00.000-08:00

Round about last Easter, my husband decided he wanted to be a vegetarian. This from a guy who previously obsessed over cooking the perfect steak and finding the best BBQ spot. I was hoping this phase would pass quickly but, here we are in January and he still eats vegetarian. He has loosened up a little. Mainly he doesn't want other meat-eating men to make fun of him, so he'll eat meat in large manly gatherings. I think it's just an excuse for him to enjoy a big, juicy steak though.
Last night I attempted to make the vegetarian version of a meal I used to make with meat...enchiladas. It turned out pretty well. I started by defrosting vegetarian ground meat aka the stuff they sweep off the floor at the mushroom farm. I cooked it in a pot with 3/4 cup of water and a packet of Ortega Taco Seasoning which I'm not sure is 100% vegetarian, but what hubby doesn't know won't hurt him. I put a scoop of the "meat" on a flour tortilla with some cheddar cheese and refried beans. The beans were actually vegetarian cuz it said it on the can. You would think all beans are vegetarian, but apparently not. Actually I think they usually make refried beans with lard or something gross like that. Anyway, I rolled up the tortillas and put them in a casserole dish that had a little salsa on the bottom to keep they from sticking. I used Great Value medium salsa cuz that's the way we roll in our house, but it you are a real gourmet and prefer something better, you can use that. It would probably actually be good with a brand that had chunks of black bean and corn in it, if such a salsa exists.
After I tranferred all of the enchiladas to the dish I topped it with more salsa, some more refried beans and a little of the remaining meat. Lastly I topped it with cheddar cheese.
I cooked the enchiladas at 375 degrees for about 20 minutes.
These enchiladas were extremely eatable. There were a few instances where you could taste the spongey "meat" but I could actually eat these and enjoy them. I will definitely make these again.

Snow Memories

2011-01-27T08:41:00.000-08:00

I love snow. I grew up in Pittsburgh and it was just the most awesome thing ever when we had a snow day. Snow forts, sledding, ice skating...
I have so many memories of my time in the snow. Flying down the hill at my neighbor's house. Going airborne at the base and eventually crashing into the creek that wound around the base of the hill. Shoveling for hours from my cousin's house to the horse barn so she could feed her Arabian horse named Star. My first time skiing where I was pretty sure I was going to die as I went careening totally out of control down the slope, praying I didn't take out some poor soul that happened to get in my way. Even trudging through the snow at Penn State made for a a good memory. College students running around like kids, throwing snowballs and making snow angels despite knowing that, at 7:00 am the next morning, they would have to make their way a half a mile across campus to make it to their first class.
After college, the real world called. Snow meant scraping off your car, driving on treacherous roads to get to work. It was just a nuisance. Then I had kids...now I have an excuse to play in the snow again. It still ruins plans, but I get to enjoy snow days again. Building forts for the kids, throwing snowballs, pulling them in the sled. I try to make good snow memories for my kids, otherwise why would I spend an hour digging a tunnel through a block of ice? I hope they appreciate the snowmen, igloos, and the pots of chicken noodle soup.

The Adventures of Super Disaster Lady: The Beginnings

2010-12-28T07:58:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She was a total mess. You could often find her playing in the sandbox with a ring of sand around her mouth. One day, for no apparent reason, she decided to pull out all of her eyelashes and eyebrows.

On the other end of town lived a little boy. He did things like ride his big wheel down the basement steps and make hats out of bubble gum.

One day the two met. They fell in love and got married. A son was born. He was a normal boy. THEN they had a daughter. She was the culmination of all of their powers. She was...SUPER DISASTER LADY! :)

Ugly Christmas Sweaters

2010-12-13T13:04:00.000-08:00

We were recently invited to an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party (that's hubby in his). Personally, I do not understand this phenomenon. Ugly sweaters got shipped off to Goodwill for a reason...no one wanted to wear them. Then, all of a sudden, people are having parties to honor them? So, needless to say, I was not enthusiastic about the idea when we were invited to one of these parties. I mean, I get invited to maybe one party a year and I am supposed to wear ugly clothes? I sit around in ugly clothes all day, just about every day. Makeupless. Hair in a clip. And the ONE time I have an excuse to dress up and go out and I have to wear an ugly sweater? Luckily I am crafty and creative and always looking for a way to skirt the rules, so I came up with a solution to the ugly sweater party...a cute and flouncy ugly skirt. I can still feel pretty, but also exude all kinds of holiday cheer. It was easy to make too. I just got 2 yards of fabric and sewed it to a wide piece of elastic. Then I added some tacky trim and cheap Christmas ornaments and *Voila*

I made one for my daughter too. She wanted jingle bells on hers, so not only is it ugly but annoying too.

I may get really creative and make a slouch hat, like the one here, but green. I may even add a star. Who knows? ;)

Cooking Party

2010-12-05T04:40:00.000-08:00

My daughter loves to cook, so when her birthday was coming up I decided to check out a store at the mall that offers cooking class birthday parties for kids. It was $35 a kid!! After finding that out I decided I was capable of hosting my own cooking party. Afterall, I spent 5 years at Penn State learning how to become an art teacher. How different could it be?

We started by decorating chef hats that I purchased at Oriental Trading. They were $5 for 12 hats. I bought foam sticky letters, stickers and markers for them to use for decorating. I had the table all set up before the kids arrived. Each chair got a chef hat and apron, then I dumped the letters and markers in the center of the table, so there would be minimal fighting over the supplies.

After everyone had decorated their hats, we got our aprons on and started making our pizzas. Before the party I had prepared little cups of pizza sauce and bowls of cheese for each child. It was as simple as passing out a crust, cup and bowl to each child. I also had pepperoni if they chose to add it to their pizzas. When they were done with their pizzas, I collected them and put them on a foil lined cookie sheet. This way I could write their names on the foil near their pizzas.

While their pizzas cooked I gave each child a piece of store bought biscuit dough. I wrote about how to make doughnuts using biscuit dough in a previous blog, in case you missed it. They enjoyed squishing the dough in their hands and it curbed their curiosity when it was time to actually make our doughnuts.

After they had fun playing with the dough for a bit, I gave each child 2 pieces of biscuit dough and a little cookie cutter to cut out the center of the doughnuts. As they finished I picked up their dough. I had to fry the dough since there was no way I was letting the kids near hot oil. I did this as they ate their pizzas. Each batch of doughnuts only takes a couple of minutes to cook, so I had plenty of time.

When they finished with their pizzas, I had them throw away their mess. Then each child got a fried doughnut and a bowl of cinnamon sugar with a spoon. They mixed the cinnamon sugar mixture together, then "bathed" their doughnuts in the mixture. Then it was time to eat them! They really liked them. Once they finished eating their doughnuts, they were given the option to make the second. Most did.

We opened presents next, since I was reluctant to give them cake after everyone had just eaten 2 doughnuts. After their stomachs had settled a bit, THEN we cut the cake.

The party was lots of fun. If not for her jealous brother, running around and rough housing with the other boys at the party, everything would have gone extremely well. The neighbor even said she might steal my idea for her daughter's birthday.

DD's Birth

2010-11-30T06:02:00.000-08:00

My baby turns 5 tomorrow and so I decided to share my memory of the day of her birth with you.
We were living in the countryside outside of Cleveland at the time. About 20 miles from the hospital and 40 miles from DH's work. I was a little nervous because my son's birth was kind of quick and I had read that the second baby often comes faster. I didn't have any labor pains with DS until my water broke and he was born about 2 hours later. It would take DH 45 min to get to me and 20 min to get back to the hospital. We didn't really have any family in the area, so if I had to go to the hospital by ambulance, then I would have to take DS with me.
I was induced with DS. I ran out of room for him (I am only 5' tall, about 90 lbs) and I was ready to go anyway. Since everything went smoothly, I asked the doctor if DD could be induced also. Then there would be no guessing as to when she would be born and no risk of delivering on the bathroom floor. They checked me and I was 2 cm dilated and she had dropped, so they agreed to induce me that Friday. Good thing! I arrived at the hospital that morning and I was 5 cm dilated! The nurse called the doctor and he decided that, instead of inducing me, he would break my water. So he did and then went back to his office to see his other patients.
The labor was hard and fast. After about 30 min I was feeling like the nurse should check my progress. I pressed the call button. When she came in to check me apparently DD was crowning! She grabbed the nearest doctor, who seem a bit annoyed until she actually saw me. My regular doctor made it into the room, literally, in time to catch DD. Must be nice to get paid $5,000 for 30 seconds of work.
I was a little disappointed, when DS was born with a mass of brown hair and DD was born bald. However, after further inspection we realized that the Grandmas got the little red-haired baby that they had both been wishing for.
So...DD was born in about 45 minutes. I can't say she has slowed down much since then. She is a very active child, prone to trouble and anti-sleep, but she's my baby and I love her.
Here's a couple of pictures of her the first year, and one of her now:

Princess for a day

2010-11-18T06:03:00.000-08:00

My daughter's birthday is coming up and, since we were in Disney World, my sister- and mother-in-law decided to go together on a special package that would make her a princess for the day. First we picked out a dress. My daughter wanted an Ariel dress and she was very specific about it being one that showed her tummy. Daddy was not crazy about this idea, but we got it anyway.

After picking out a dress, we headed to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique so she could get her hair, nails and makeup done. She glowed as she sat in the chair getting her special treatment.

It made me kind of emotional seeing my messy red-haired baby looking so grown up, but it was just for one night. Still...I was kinda glad when we got back to the hotel, that she freaked out and made me take out her hair. But she looked beautiful. Like the winner of the Junior Miss Mermaid competition.

After the makeover we went to the castle for dinner. She got to meet Belle, Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora and Ariel.

At the end of dinner, the waitress brought her a cupcake and we sang "Happy Birthday" to her.

It was a very exciting day, and by the end she was totally pooped.

Florida

2010-11-18T05:16:00.000-08:00

We just got back from our first vacation in about 10 years. My sister-in-law was having her wedding in Delray Beach, FL. The wedding was beautiful. It was right on the beach. My daughter was one of the flower girls. I made her dress for the ceremony and it fit the theme of the wedding (Bohemian chic) perfectly.

The kids had a lot of fun playing on the beach. My son was stung by a jellyfish about 45 minutes into the trip, but he recovered quickly.

The Sunday after the wedding we headed to Walt Disney World. It started out terrible. My nephew slipped on the floor of the hotel right before we left. We thought his arm was broken. Luckily it wasn't. And of course my husband was extremely hungover, so I had to drive. Plus, he alerted me that he lost our only credit card while in a drunken stupor the night before. Luckily there haven't been any charges made to it. We eventually made it there. Since we flew to Ft. Lauderdale, we had to rent a minivan to drive from Delray Beach to Orlando. This means we had to return the van to the Orlando airport and hop a shuttle to our hotel in Disney World. It took forever, but we finally made it there by about 2:00. After a quick lunch, we headed to the park. When I say "we" I mean me, my husband, our two kids, my husband's brother, his wife, their 5 boys, and my mother-and father-in-law. Yup...13 in all.

The parks were a lot of fun. We woke up everyday at 6:00 and managed to stumble home to our beds by about 10:00. Needless to say, I'm totally exhausted.

New House

2010-10-29T04:17:00.000-07:00

Wow! It has been a long time since I've written a blog post. If you follow me on Twitter (@EverRose), you know that we moved from KY to Northern VA. It was move I was anxious to make, since I never really had a connection with KY. In July we moved into our temporary housing. It was a 4th floor apartment. After about 2 wks. of walking the dogs up and down the steps 100 times a day, we had had enough of that. We thought we would never find a house we could afford here. Apparently the county we were looking in is the richest in America. Just when we thought we would have to give up and rent, I looked at a little townhouse in a neighborhood that had what seemed like a nice little elementary school within walking distance. We put in our offer and, after a little haggling, we signed a contract.
Our house was not in terrible condition when we moved in, but after all of the previous owner's belongings were removed it was clear we had some work to do. In the wondows hung horrible flowered curtains, the light fixtures were out-of-date and the walls were practically all painted some shade of pinkish-purple. And don't even get me started on the wallpaper borders and painted over wallpaper.
I removed wallpaper, patched holes and painted 9 rooms total, plus hallways. It was very exhausting, but well worth it. The other problem we had was going from a house that had a garage and spacious attic, to a townhouse with no garage and no attic. That means I had to fit everything into a utility room and some storage closets. I'm down to just a couple of boxes, thanks to the help of some wire shelving and some Space Bags.
Here are a couple of pictures of our new house:

Here's just a sample of what we were dealing with:

No words

2010-06-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

You know...I'm no feminist, but one thing really caught my attention and I really just need to vent. A bar here in Louisville, which I have fortunately never patronized (and thankfully never will), has a contest going this summer. If you wear your homemade bikini on Thursdays you can win a chance to get a free breast augmentation.
Now...let me mention...I am a small chested woman. Somehow I still managed to attract a mate and use my tiny mammary glands to breastfeed 2 children. That's the point, right? Oh wait...I'm supposed to wiggle them in men's faces while I drink shots of Jagermeister? I mean, really....no wonder so many women are opting to formula feed their children. They have no clue what breasts are really for. They are not some kind of ornamentation. They were given to us to feed our young and some women are opting to feed their children that prepackaged crap because they do not want to ruin what is probably their best (and only) asset. It kills me when I hear a woman say that breastfeeding is gross. It is beautiful and it is what nature intended and you can just stick your formula up your ass because there was no way in hell I was feeding my kid that crap. I don't tell every woman who is bottlefeeding that I think it is gross, even though the thought of feeding my kid formula totally sickened me.
And as for the owner of the bar where this contest is taking place...you can sure as hell bet that I will never, ever patronize such a shallow environment. Your establishment sickens me.
And that is all.

Garden Update

2010-05-22T03:26:00.000-07:00

The good news is we are leaving KY, the bad news...I have to find another way to get my gardening fix. With the higher cost of living in the Northern VA area, even with a nice raise, we'll probably have to downgrade to a townhouse. The thought of this gives me a twitch. Perhaps I'll be able to find another elementary school in need of some landscaping TLC. For now I'm going to enjoy my garden. I've been doing some work getting it ready for when people come to look at our house. Hard to believe that a little less than 2 years ago it looked like this:

Oh, how I hated those holly bushes! Today it looks like this:

There is still a little bit that I would do to it (a couple of bare spots), that I probably won't get a chance to do, but I like it. DD can pick the flowers, it gives the house some nice curb appeal and it just makes me happy. Who wants to bet that the person who buys our house doesn't give 2 shits about gardening? Here are some of my other gardening areas:
I bought this white salvia at the end of last year for $0.33/plant. DH told me it was dead.

My rain barrel mecca:

I got this little oak sapling on Earth Day last year. It was the first tree we planted.

And finally...What garden would be complete without a vegetable garden? I hope my neighbors take me up on my offer to take the veggies when we leave. I'll cry if I think about them just rotting on the ground.

Pittsburgh trip

2010-05-18T06:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend we packed the kids and the Schnauzers into the car and headed to Pittsburgh to visit family. We left at 8:00 pm on Thursday, hoping everyone would sleep in the car.
Our first obstacle was in regards to our GPS. Let me just say that if our GPS had nuts, I would have ground and pound them like Chuck Liddell. That stupid thing directed us through the countryside of Shelbyville for 20 minutes, only to bring us out the next town over. I almost threw it out the window! Luckily we were able to pull over and clean out the crate we had Coco in cuz she had already thrown up the first of 5 times!
The rest of the trip went pretty well except, earlier in the day, Rocky had eaten one of DD's multivitamins and farted noxious gas every 15 minutes or so. Did I mention that he slept on my lap for 7 hours?
When we got to my parents' house, I had to bathe Coco because she was, literally, soaked in vomit and stomach acid. It was awesome. I then had to clean up Rocky's poop, cuz he was so excited to be out of the car that he dumped on my parents' carpet. Oh yeah...and there was also the cat vomit that had crusted to the floor from my parents' cats. My parents were in CA all week, so there was no one to clean it up. After all that I jumped in the shower and scrubbed my skin off.
Friday we chilled with the inlaws and met Hubby's coworkers for drinks at a place called Mad Mex. I got a Kristy's Big Sister's Red Velvet Burrito.
On Saturday we went to my nephew's birthday party. It was at one of those inflatable bouncy house places. After about 20 minutes of watching the kids bounce Hubby and I decided to leave and get some lunch. We went to this awesome Italian pizza shop called Mama Lucia's. It was great to have real pizza again, not the ketchup and cheese on bread that they have around here. I also got an Italian hoagie. It was so good I would have married Mama Lucia if I could have.
After the party we went to a dog park. It was the first time the dogs have been off of their leashes outside. They loved it! We thought Rocky would get kicked out after 5 minutes, but he was really well-behaved. Look how happy they are:

On Sunday we had DS's First Reconciliation at church. When we lived in Pittsburgh we attended a Ukrainian Catholic Church. In KY there is not even a Byzantine Catholic Church, so our priest invited DS to participate in their ceremony. It was really nice to be back in church. Everyone remembered us. One of the old Ukrainian ladies commented on how big DS had gotten. It was a beautiful ceremony. Here is a picture of DS with the priest:

After the ceremony we went to my parents' house and had a BBQ, then we headed to the local amusement park called Kennywood.

DD loves roller coasters. It was really fun. DS won a stuffed animal and they both got light up toys. We ate french fries with cheese at the Potato Patch and even met up with Hubby's childhood friend that he reunited with on Facebook. It was a good time.

Stuffed shells

2010-05-12T05:11:00.000-07:00

I hate wasting food, so I'm always looking for ways to use up leftovers. On Mother's Day I grilled some yummy pizzas. One was shrimp, sweet corn and roasted red pepper, and the other was mushroom, spinach and red onion. They were very good, the problem was that I had veggies leftover because I had to buy a big bag of spinach and a whole package of mushrooms, but I only needed a handful of each for my pizza. I started thinking how I could use the leftovers and decided to incorporate them into the stuffed shells I was making for dinner last night. Here's my "recipe":

1/4 large onion
1 clove garlic
handful of spinach
handful of mushrooms
1/2 roasted red pepper
palmful of Parmesan cheese
handful of mozzarella cheese, plus more for topping
pinch of black pepper
1/2 lb ricotta cheese
salt to taste
1 egg
12 large shells, cooked al dente
marinara sauce

Throw veggies in food processor and chop until small. Mix in cheeses and beaten egg. Spoon filling into shells. Spoon marinara into the bottom of a baking dish. Place shells in dish. Spoon more marinara on top of shells. Top with mozzarella. Bake at 375 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until sauce bubbles.

DISCLAIMER: If you are thrown off by my obscure measurements or undetailed recipe, then you probably shouldn't try making this dish and should just order a pizza.

Enjoy!

Souvenir Stands

2010-04-26T06:32:00.000-07:00

My son is addicted to souvenirs. It is really bad because the kid is a total hoarder. He collects Bakugan, Lego sets, bookmarks, etc. The more things he can collect, the better. Needless to say, souvenirs stands and shops are like crack to the kid. Any time we go anywhere that has a souvenir shop he spends the entire time bugging us to let him pick something out. Last week Louisville had their Kentucky Derby kickoff party called Thunder Over Louisville. They are food stands and *sigh* souvenir stands set up all along the river as people await the biggest fireworks show in America. We went to Thunder for the first time and all my son did the entire time was bug us for a plastic ninja sword. I was so completely agitated and was not about to spend $10 on a piece of crap toy after dropping $20 on parking and $30 on food, so I was the meanest Mom in the world and we left swordless.
This weekend we went to an Art and Garden fair and, don't you know, the kid finds a little cross stitch picture that he was dying to buy? I like to support local art, but I was not about to buy it because I know it would end up in a pile on his dresser. After he asked a zillion times, I finally got mad and said, "You know, I swear we could go on a tour of a shit factory and you would find a turd at the gift shop that you just had to have." He stopped whining after that. I must have made my point, which is good because we all know that summertime is primetime shopping season for souvenir collectors.

Gardening at the school

2010-04-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

I live right in front of my son's elementary school. It was one of the selling points of our house. I love being able to walk him to school everyday.
Our house has a pretty small yard. I grew up with a pretty large yard and our last house had 1/3 acre, but our new house has a really small yard. I like to garden a lot. As a teenager, my dad would give me a plot in the garden to plant flowers and some vegetables. When we lived on my Grandma's farm I would help her tend to her gardens. The yard at our last house was really neglected so I spent numerous hours working to control it...trimming bushes, pulling weeds, planting flowers. Our new house was a clean slate. I pretty much ran out of things to do very early on. The school, however, was a mess. The gardens they did have were full of weeds, so I expanded my endeavors.
The garden at the school last year:

I pulled all of the weeds, then when that was done I decided to split some of the perennials they had (daylilies, liriope, blackeyed susans) because they were overgrown and there were a lot of bare spaces they could fill. Late last summer I got the idea to collect perennials from parents and start a perennial garden. My goal is to completely cover the space with plants so that weeding will be minimal and teachers could also use it as a means to teach about plant life. It looks pretty good so far. Everything I planted came back up, and it's filling in pretty well. I'd say by July it should be pretty impressive. I would even like to make placards for the plants. I really want it to be kind of a mini botanical gardens. I want people to not only notice its beauty, but take the time to stop and really look at it.
The garden early this spring. You can see some of the new plants coming up:

Super Disaster Lady

2010-03-31T06:24:00.000-07:00

Let me start out by saying I love my daughter so much. She is so full of life. She's a little tomboy, but loves girly stuff too. Actually she is a lot like me, except she is a total disaster! She breaks toys, eats crayons, and rips paper. Her clothes are full of stains, her hair looks like a rat's nest, her face is always dirty and she pees her pants. If something can be destroyed, she will do it. Yesterday I sat down at the kitchen table and found a pen in 12 pieces, perfectly disassembled and scattered across the table. Who could even guess this pen even HAD 12 parts? But there they were. I asked her why she did it, but of course she had not clue. It's just the nature of her being. I think someday she will be a wrecking ball driver. I told her if she had a superhero name it would be Super Disaster Lady. Her response? "I'm not a lady." Notice she didn't argue the disaster part. Unfortunately this penchant for disaster was genetically predetermined because her father made himself a hat out of bubblegum when he was her age and also rode his big wheel down the basement steps ON PURPOSE. He thinks she's cute as heck, which she is, but she is still a total disaster. *sigh*

Diary of a Crazy Gardener

2010-02-24T06:16:00.000-08:00

So I think I have made it perfectly clear that I really hate living in KY. The one thing that keeps me sane is gardening. Last year was the first year I could really garden because we moved into our house in July of the year before and in KY everything is sealed in a bed of clay concrete by then. It took a lot of experimentation before I found out what worked here. In Cleveland we lived near the lake. The soil was extremely fertile and loose because, basically, it had been part of the lake years and years ago. Everything grew, and everything grew really large without basically any work. In KY the soil is like clay. Especially around our house, since the builders obviously dug a hole for our crawlspace, then dumped all the crap soil around our house. We had a row of holly bushes in the front, so I bought some annuals and planted them in front of them. In a week they were dead. I was really frustrated with the bushes, because they hardly left room to plant anything else. So out they came. Here is a picture of me after I conquered the beasts:

I decided to plant a perennial garden there, but the unfortunate part was that we had drained our budget putting an extra room above our garage. I managed to get together $50 and headed to Lowe's to buy some budget plants. I bought a good bit of plants, but the front still remained rather bare. Here's a picture after the initial replanting:

During the spring and summer I went to Lowe's and other garden centers every week looking for deals. $3 here and there. I also begged and pleaded for cuttings from my parents and neighbors. By the end of the summer I had a pretty good setup. Here's a picture:

I even took some of my divisions to the school I live by and planted them in their garden. I'm really excited to see how everything comes back this year. Hopefully I'll be able to divide some of the perennials even further and extend my garden. I would really like to plant a rain garden also. Last year I added a rain barrel to my garden and was really happy with it.

I also want to get a rain chain to water the pot that sits beside my front door.
I think I'll request that for Mother's Day

Old-Fashioned Art

2010-01-25T06:05:00.001-08:00

There used to be a time when the world was not dominated by computers. That time fell around the same time I went to college. Sure, I used a computer in college, but it was not the only option. Mostly I just really wasted a lot of my time trying to figure out how to do crap on it. So, I developed a process for creating my art that did not involve computers. I still kind of use that process today. I'll share it with you just in case you are interested.

I mostly work from photographs to create my art. I'm not extrememly creative and I like painting scenes of nature (flowers, barns, etc.) better than a bunch of crap with crazy "meanings" anyway. Monet might have had all day to sit there and paint the effects sunlight had on waterlilies, but then again, Monet did not have 2 kids. So I take a picture, then I go home and paint it.

In the "olden days" I would take a picture with my point and click camera, then ride the bus to Walmart where I would drop off the film, then pick it up a week later when it was ready. Then I would take it to a photocopier, figure out how to get the picture blown up to the size I wanted, and a million dimes later I would have a picture to work from. Nowadays I take a digital picture, then print it the size I want on the computer.

Here's my picture:

Now I have to get my picture onto my watercolor paper. I suppose I could freehand draw it, but that puts too much pressure on my brain and forces me to use my artistic skills, so I just trace it. Yup...I coat the back of my copy with charcoal, then tape it to my paper and trace away.

After I take away the paper, I trace over the charcoal with pencil, because the charcoal will eventually wear away, then I'm left with nothing. Here's what it looks like:

Scary, right?

Well...that's it. I start my painting by filling in large areas of color. I tweak it and work with it for a few days, and eventually end up with a finished picture that, hopefully, doesn't suck.

I guess you'll have to tune in to see the finished result. If the suspense is just killing you (I'm so sure it is), here's a picture that I finished last year, along with the original picture:

By the way, I painted this picture of my sister-in-law's cousin after she died in a car accident.

Suck it, Santa!

2009-12-21T10:41:00.000-08:00

Ah, Christmas...the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, Our Savior. You knew that, right? I'm just asking because some guy in a big red suit came and f***ed it all up. Sure, he had good intentions. Bring presents to the children of the world, thus spreading joy, blah blah blah. But I have to say...Santa sucks. Here's are a few of my reasons:

1) Why can't Santa pick a different day to come every year? Every kid knows Santa comes on Dec. 25. They spend the entire week leading up to Christmas driving their parents nuts because they are so damned excited. If they don't know what day Christmas is, then we can avoid all of this.
2) Santa doesn't screen his elves well enough. You'd think with the Internet it would be easy to run a background check and contact references, but no. Seems any guy with a white beard will do nowadays. These elves don't even ask what the kids want for Christmas. It's just a picture and a piece of candy, then out the door they go. C'mon Santa. Get with the program. These elves are representing you and honestly, you're starting to look like a real dick.
3) Santa just doesn't think about how his toys are going to irritate parents. First, you have to open the damned boxes. Is it necessary to have so many twist ties, screws, and rubber bands holding them in the box? Then you finally get the boxes open and the toys have a zillion little pieces, play irritating music or make horrible messes. Let's stick with basics, Santa. I'm talking about balls, Jack-in-the-boxes, and baby dolls.

I just think if Santa is going to steal Christmas from Jesus, then he better get his shit in a bag. In today's times it's survival of the fittest. You never know when some new guy's going to come along and steal your glory. Just ask Jesus, and he could turn water into wine.

Ho, ho, holy shit!

2009-12-18T14:00:00.000-08:00

As if the holidays aren't crazy enough, God just has to add that other element in there...the unexpected. We all expect crowded malls, crazy relatives, and hyper children but no one ever expects the loss of a loved one or a job lay-off. In my case the unexpected apparently involves poop.
Today my daughter called me from the bathroom, "Mama, there's a string in my poop!" Lovely. I thought I was finished looking at her poop when she started wiping her own ass, but I guess not. When I looked in I was horrified. It looked like a 5-inch ribbon was intertwined in her poop. Gross? I know. Immediately I called the doctor. At the appointment they looked her over, then left and came back with what looked like a poop chemistry set. Different vials that I have to mix poop into and take to the lab for testing. Yay! And to top it all off, it has to stay refrigerated. So daughter's turd vial is all nestled in a coffee can, like a little Mr. Hanky, ready to spread holiday cheer right next to my condiments and leftovers.
Hopefully the rest of Christmas is nice, because it can't really get much worse than mixing turds like a mad poop scientist. Happy Holidays! Hopefully they are not as shitty as mine.

Art

2009-12-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

I think I've mentioned it before, but I am an artist. I loved art all growing up and so when it came time to choose a profession, I decided to become an art teacher. I loved my high school art teacher. She was the greatest lady and had a huge impact on a little girl who was constantly bullied. I wanted to be just like her, so I endured 5 years at Penn State and, when I graduated, I was ready to make that same kind of impact on someone else. Except that the job market for teachers in PA sucked and I couldn't get so much as an interview even though I excelled in college. Getting a teaching position in PA involves a lot of sucking up and usually nepotism. I am not good at sucking up and my family had no connections. I tried substitute teaching. I was good at it, so good that the schools didn't want to forfit me as substitute. Eventually I needed a more reliable job so I worked in daycare until hubby and I had our son. First chance I could get, I stayed home to take care of him. Then came baby #2. Now 11 yrs later I'm left with no qualifications or experience and the suckassedness starts all over again as I search for a job again. It started last year. Things were going pretty good. I needed to retake my certification tests. I passed the first 2, no problem. I was very surprised when I failed the 3rd test. Close, but no cigar. So I arranged to retake it. I was sure I aced it. I checked the computer and, BAM, was hit with another failure. Boo! But something looked wrong. I failed MISERABLY! I called the test-taking facility to tell them I thought there was a mistake. Nope, no mistake, they claimed. I knew in my heart I passed that test, so I paid the $55 for them to verify the test score. Sure enough....THEY HAD LOST PART OF MY TEST!! Turns out I ACED IT! I got everything straightened out, but not before the start of the new school year. So here I am, applying again. It sucks. And that's my sob story.

Here's some of my artwork, if anyone cares.

This was the first old painting I ever painted. I was in college.

My concentration in college was printmaking. This is a lithograph. I had really bad strep when the sketches for this print were due, so I could only draw something I could set up in my dorm room.

When we lived in OH I was obsessed with painting barns. This is my Grandma's farm.

I like feel good art. Nothing abstract or deeply meaningful. I like painting nature scenes.

I do commissions. This is my sister-in-law's cousin. She died in a car crash last year. I earned a $25 iTunes gift card for this little endeavor. I've done other commissions, too. One time I sketched a couple of golden retrievers at the Humane Society.

Lucy the Dog

2009-12-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago we lost our beloved puppy Lucy. She was a great dog. We took her to get spayed and for some reason God took her from us. The vet said it was probably a bad reaction to the anesthesia. She made it through her surgery, but never woke up. We rushed to the vet clinic and were able to say goodbye before she took her final breath. It was very hard on the whole family. Today my son came home from school with a story he wrote about Lucy. I cried as I read it. Here it is:

Lucy was sweet. She bit me a lot, but I loved her. When she wanted to play she bit my Mom's pant leg. She kissed my face to wake me up. Lucy's ears stuck up, but we did not want them to. When I got off the bus she attacked my window trying to get me and when I got inside she attacked me with kisses. She was the best dog ever and no one can replace her.
P.S. I love you with all my heart still.

On Sunday we are going to get a new puppy named Rocky. I pray that God will keep him safe and that we will have him until he grows old.

There is no hope for the world.

2009-12-03T12:32:00.000-08:00

I've decided to change the theme of my blog. What once started as a blog to help people get off of their asses and learn something that will be of use to them in the world, has turned into another "piss and moan" blog. Lord knows, I have enough to bitch about. Right now I'm stuck in rural Louisville with no family or friends anywhere close to me. The people in this town (Shelbyville) are like some kind of zombie army of rednecks. They have no sense of humor and are not extrememly welcoming to outsiders. I suck at socializing with other moms because I, inevitably, piss someone off. I cannot involve myself in my church, because KY has NO Byzantine Catholic churches in the entire state. The one thing I find enjoyment in is gardening. Since we live right in front of my son's school I will often work in the gardens at the school.
So...since people really have no desire to learn how to cook or sew or do anything the least bit useful, then I will use my blog space to offer up my special brand of insanity. It sure beats talking to myself. And since I have been told that I am too wordy for Twitter, I can use my blog for all of my special rants.

Lip Balm

2009-11-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

We are entering the time of year when the air is so dry your feel like you could power a Smart car with all of the static electricity that has built up in your hair, and your skin is so dry you feel like you could easily be added to trail mix and no one would notice. Last year I discovered that you can make your own lip balm right in your kitchen. It is really easy and makes a lot. Once you have the ingredients, you can make enough lip balm to last a lifetime. Last year I used it every night before going to bed and every morning when I woke up and I doubt I had chapped lips one time. You see, as with everything else that is mass produced, the makers of lip balm add fragrances and fillers that dilute the ingredients that your lips need to stay hydrated. The lip balm recipe that I am about to share is the real deal. So here it is:

2 Tbsp. petroleum jelly (Vaseline)
1 tsp. beeswax (I bought mine by the ounce at a health food store or in the candlemaking section of the craft store.)

1) Melt the beeswax and petroleum jelly in a double boiler over low heat. I use a small saucepan with about an inch of boiling water in it, with a small mixing bowl on top (see picture*).

2) Mix ingredients thoroughly with a toothpick. At this point you can add several ingredients to enhance your lip balm. Here are a few examples:
*Essential oils: I like peppermint oil. It makes your lips tingly. Essentials oils can be found at most health food stores (Whole Foods Market).
*Color: You can add a little slice of your lipstick if you want your lip balm
to be colored, but don't expect to be able to notice it on your lips.
*Other stuff I can't categorize: I use a few drops of Vitamin E oil and Aloe Oil because they are supposed to be good for your skin. I don't know if it's true.
3) Pour your lip balm into containers. I found little containers at the craft store that are supposed to be used to hold leftover acrylic paint. They fit about 1 oz. I used 4. Make sure they are clean. I put them in boiling water for a few minutes before I fill them.

Yep, that's it. Pretty much it's just melting stuff. Hopefully this will be the year you don't suffer from chapped lips. If it is, you can thank me. :)

*Ignore the stained cooktop and old pot. I told you I was no Martha Stewart.

Cinnamon Sugar Donuts

2009-10-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

My daughter just loves to cook. Of course she likes to bake cookies, pies and cakes, but she'll help with just about any task I give her. I jokingly call her my sous chef. One project she is especially fond of is making donuts. I'm not especially fond of mixing up a bowl of dough, so I thought it was just brilliant when my husband told me that his Pap used to make donuts using refrigerated biscuit dough. That's pure genius! You get yummy, "homemade" donuts and you don't even have to slave away in the kitchen. Here's how you do it:

Ingredients:

1 tube refrigerated homestyle biscuit dough (Don't get fancy on me, you just need the cheap stuff)
1/4 c. sugar
1 T cinnamon
enough shortening or oil to fill a small saucepan up about 1 in.
itty, bitty cookie cutter (This may require a trip to a specialty store. We use a little heart)

Directions:
1) Heat shortening or oil in a small saucepan over medium heat.
2) While oil is heating, use cookie cutter to cut out a hole in the center of each biscuit. Save the middles. They can be used to make donut holes. My kids actually fight over the donut holes.
3) Mix cinnamon and sugar in a small bowl.
4) When a drop of water sizzles in the oil, then it is ready. Toss in your donuts. I usually fry the donut holes first. They need to be constantly turned so they turn a golden brown on all sides. The other donuts will need to be flipped after the first side has turned a golden brown.

5) Remove donuts from the oil and allow some of the excess oil to drain on a paper towel.
6) Toss donuts in the cinnamon-sugar mixture. Use a spoon to make sure all sides are coated.

Sometimes we'll get fancy and, instead of coating them in cinnamon-sugar, we'll put icing on then and then add sprinkles. One time I mixed the seeds from a vanilla bean with sugar and made vanilla-sugar donuts. Be creative and have fun!

Fabric Ghosts

2009-10-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

This weekend the kids and I found ourselves at the fabric store. I went in for elastic, because our stupid Walmart decided to cut back on their sewing section, and came face-to-face with the true horror that is Halloween...tacky crafts.
In college I majored in art education. My professors spent years deprogramming us of the kind of holiday crafts we grew up making in elementary art class. You know, hand turkeys, paper snowflakes and bunny rabbits with cute little cotton ball tails? We learned how to teach art by focusing on technique, art history, criticism and aesthetics. There is simply no time in the curriculum for papier-mache ghosts. And yet, this is exactly what was standing before me...cute little ghosts made by soaking fabric in fabric stiffener. Oh no! Hurry up and pass them before the kids see them. Too late. "Awwww!! Mama look how cute. Can we make them? They have directions hanging up right here." Crap. So I ended buying the fabric stiffener. We made the ghosts and they ARE cute. So, as an art teacher, I'm absolutely horrified. As a Mom it was a fun activity to make with my kids. You should do it too. Here are the directions:

Supplies:
fabric stiffener
small balloons
scraps of white cloth or cheesecloth
cups
fishing line or thread
assorted craft items for decorating your ghost

Directions:
1) Dilute stiffener in a bowl using 50%water, 50% stiffener.
2) Blow up balloons, set them in cups for support.
3) Cut fabric so that, when draped over the balloons, it just reaches the table surface.
4) Place cloth in stiffener, covering the entire surface with the mixture. Wring out the fabric so that it is not dripping.
5) Drape fabric over the balloons.
6) Let fabric dry, then remove balloons and cups.
7) Decorate according to your tastes.
8) Place a knot on the end of a desired length of thread. Using a needle, pull thread through the top of the ghost starting inside the ghost.

You may want to work on a surface covered with newspaper, as this project can get pretty messy.

Have fun!

Turkey Stock

2009-10-18T12:04:00.000-07:00

My in laws were visiting this weekend. I usually cook one meal for us to eat together. The other night we usually go out to eat. With a picky father-in-law and finicky kids, it is always a challenge to think of a meal that everyone will enjoy. This time I decided to roast a turkey breast.
Well, it turns out that the in laws left early this morning, so they missed my dinner. I figured since I had already bought the turkey, I would roast it anyway. It turned out very good. The leftover meat will inevitably become a turkey pot pie, but I'm still left with a carcass. Most people would toss it in the garbage, but since I am incredibly cheap, I like to take it one step further. Tomorrow I will submerse that bad boy in pot of water and turn it into turkey noodle soup. It's really not that hard. You just need to put the carcass in water until it is covered, then simmer it (covered) on the stove top for about an hour. I usually strain out all the crap that comes off of the turkey, then put the broth back into the pot with celery, onions, carrots, garlic and a few chicken bouillon cubes. Pick off all of the loose turkey meat from the carcass and throw that into the pot, too. After the vegetables are tender I add a few handfuls of noodles, then boil (uncovered) until the noodles are done. My kids love homemade soup. It will last them for days. If you leave out the noodles, you can even freeze the soup to use when someone comes down with a cold. Nothing like a nice bowl of homemade soup when you are sick.

Gravy

2009-10-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

For a short time, after moving to Cleveland, we lived with my Grandmother on her farm. She's a good cook. She makes a lot of home style cuisine. The kind of stuff you would expect from someone in their eighties...roast, pork chops, soups, etc. She also makes some traditional Ukrainian food...borscht (Google it, if you don't know), perogies, and cabbage rolls. One of the most important things I learned from her is how to make gravy. What most people don't realize is that gravy is easy to make. I guarantee once you learn how to make it you won't ever want to buy the canned stuff again.

Basically gravy is just butter, flour, broth and seasoning. Here's a basic recipe:

2 T. butter

2 T. flour

1 cup broth

salt and pepper to taste
All you do is melt the butter over medium heat, add the flour and simmer for a minute or so (see pic), then whisk in the broth. Let everything simmer until it thickens, stirring occasionally. Then add salt and pepper to taste. That's it. The end result...gravy that you will want to drink by the gallon.

For dinner we had Beef Stroganoff. I put stew meat and a can of beef broth in the crock pot in the morning, so that it had all day to simmer. At dinnertime I sauteed mushrooms and onions in butter, then added the flour. After it simmered for a minute, I added the strained broth from the crockpot. I also added some additional broth because I tripled the above recipe. Lastly, I threw in the meat from the crockpot. Voila! I served it over noodles with a dollop of sour cream.

Some days, when I feel really motivated, I will make my own broth to use. But that's another post.

Introduction

2009-10-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

First an introduction: I'm a 34 year-old mother of two who lives in Louisville, but grew up in Pittsburgh. Thus the name "Hey Yinz! Make this..." I can be found on Twitter offering up my opinions on any number of issues, most of which I know nothing about. I decided to create a blog when I realized that PEOPLE CANNOT DO SHIT FOR THEMSELVES ANYMORE! No one gardens, cooks, sews, knits, crochets, fixes things, etc. Basically, people shop and eat. So, being a helpful person, I asked myself, "What the hell can I do about this?" The resulting answer...help people be more useful.

So you may be asking yourself, "What are this broad's qualifications?" Well, I don't really have any. I consider myself to be a Jack (or Jill, if you're like that) of all trades, master of none. I went to school to teach art, but have stayed home to take care of my kids for the past 5 or so years. During that time I have experimented with cooking, sewing, crafting, gardening, and just about anything you can think of (Not THAT!!). I guess it runs in the genes. My grandmother came from Ukraine. She knows how to make everything. For her it was kind of a necessity. She and my grandfather came to America after WWII and bought a farm in rural OH. My Dad was the oldest of 4. He grew up helping around the farm. He will try just about anything. I've seen him cut down trees, build an addition on the house, fix a car, etc. He's 63 years old and still going strong. My Mom is another story...although she does not appear to be extremely domestic, there was a time when she would sew us play shorts, make crafts and she always had dinner prepared when my Dad came home from work at 5:00. Her catch phrase is "Bite me!" so you can see where I got my personality.

In my blog I will be offering up little pieces of wisdom that I have learned over the years. I do not claim to offer the absolute correct way of doing some of the things that I will demonstrating, so if you want to learn things the right way, go watch Food Network or Martha Stewart.

I'll end by offering this advice: Get off your lazy ass and learn how to do something useful, because the economy sucks right now and you might just need to know some of this stuff in the event we are all left penniless.